How do you tell your child that her father is dead?

My husband died on December 4, 2008, of a massive heart attack. I had the most difficult task of telling my eight year old daughter that her dad had passed away. I did not know how to tell my daughter that her dad was dead. When I looked into her eyes all that I could see in her face was the look of wonder, uncertainties, and surprise to see her Godparents, neighbours, church councillor in our home. Her eyes glided over all of the faces of these people wondering why they were sitting in her living room. If a pin had fallen at that moment you would have heard it loud and clear because of the silence in the room. Eventually, her Godmother broke the silence. As gentle as ever I said, yes Jacqueline your dad is dead. Her little jaw dropped slightly and she looked up at me pulling her little jaw up. She kept her eyes on me throughout the whole event for support. Her jaw dropped again as if to cry and suddenly out of nowhere she gazed on me for support and immediately pulled her jaws up. After everyone left we hugged each other and went to bed. While we were in bed I spoke to her very softly telling her that I know that it is hurting inside and that it was okay to cry. She said mommy I am never going to see my daddy again. My daddy will never kiss me good night and tuck me in before I go to sleep, he will never wake me up in the morning, help me in the shower, put my towel around me, take me to school, take me to special places like the restaurant, to church, take my pictures or go shopping together. They had a special bond between father and daughter doing special things together and sharing special moments together.

Life without her dad is difficult because she missed special moments such as going to the mall with her dad and I to see Santa Claus, Christmas Shopping, watching Christmas movies, opening Christmas presents together. On Christmas Day we all shared in the preparation of the turkey. I cleaned the turkey, cut the onions, the bread and Jacqueline and her dad prepared the stuffing from beginning to end and stuffed the turkey together. This was a special time that These are things that we both appreciated and shared together with her dad. Sometimes we take these simple things for granted and don't realize that in a blink of an eye you can loose those precious moments that we take for granted with the ones we love.

Christmas 2008 was the sad and empty as we mourned the loss of the father who loved his daughter to bits and the husband that I loved. My daughter was sick with pains in her tummy and high fever. She later recovered rebounding as if nothing had happened. We broke with tradition and went out to supper with friends. We are taking life one day at a time. Some days are better than others. Sometimes we slip back and start all over again . With the help of friends and neighbours we are trying to go on but it is not easy.